They say that women are like teabags, that we don't know how strong we are until we get put into hot water. How true this saying is. I must say that over the past few weeks I would have never imagined I would be sitting in class with the type of kids, in the type of school environment that I do now. I'm being brutally honest. We all dream of teaching at Rhenish or La Rochelle, we all have dreams of an easy teaching experience and who is to say those schools don't have their own problems? We dream of a school where children drink in our every word and there's no need to shout or reprimand 1000000 times every day. we DREAM of comfort, of staff-rooms with coffee flowing and air-con running. BUT, will we grow? Will we become the best person we could possibly be in perfect conditions? I come from a privileged middle-class background, my parents both teachers, and I was blessed to go to a good school and to be surrounded with a certain type of mindset and mentality. The idea that education is my only way upwards and towards the independence that I so hungrily craved was etched into my mind before I knew what I wanted to do with my life. And yet, I struggle to find that school of thought in the environment I am currently situated. I grew up in a bit of a bubble, and BOY has my bubble been burst.
I have learnt to swim in an environment that I never thought I could survive in (and of cause the tuck-shop has helped me through this in my neediest times - I am NOT kidding here - it's been a huge crutch). An environment where the leadership is lacking and the children feel it within the school. An environment filled with drugs, bunking and ill-discipline, where a culture of learning is not fostered, and this makes me sad. I have been exposed to things I only heard about from other people BUT here I am, swimming and loving the trip this is taking me on. I am one of those people who are able to adapt to adversity (just don't douse me in it!!!) and grow. I have been cat-called more times than I can count, disrespected and unappreciated, but I still wake up every morning with a will to go on because deep down I feel like somehow I am making a difference to someone. That somehow I can possibly be that role model to a child, someone they can look up to.
I have become attached to some of the children, and surprisingly they aren't the boffins that one would expect. i have grown attached to little group of boys who to me are the cutest little things on this darn earth. they are greatly overlooked and left to fend for themselves in the back of the classroom., their teacher doesn't expect much from them in terms of work and as a result of this does not even check their homework. they tend to be a little chatty and this is what initially brought me to sitting with them. they're little boys, far smaller than they should be for grade 8 and I suspect they come from impoverished backgrounds. by sitting with them to keep them quiet and working I realized that they are just normal little boys who have so much character. they like me and the stickers I give them when they do their homework and try hard to impress me, because they like me but - I suspect - ABOVE ALL they think I'm pretty - and who doesn't want to impress a pretty lady? I enjoy working with them as a group and I see the tendency within me to gravitate to the needy ones, the ones who need help and attention which is so scarce in a large class. I hope that I inspire them as much as they inspire me to be kind and loving to people I never thought I would build a relationship with. I'm a work in progress but really I think I like who I'm becoming. This teaching practice is beginning to mean more to me than those 8 lessons per subject.
We are still hard at work on our spiritual dance for the Cultural Day which will be taking place on the 11th of September, and the ballet group seem to be very excited and I enjoy working with them. The school has announced that there will be two interim principals until the end of the year, when a new principal will be announced. This week has been a long one for me and I am so glad that I can go on to a brand new one. Keyword to remember for the week: Teabag.
One does not always see the fruit of your work during the time they are in school, but after a couple of years they will come back and thank the teacher who believed in them. You are made of the right stuff to become a great teacher (you already are) because you believe in them (even if they are the forgotten ones sitting at the back of the class). Keep up the great work, one never knows where the seed will fall and grow.
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