I'm turning into the Grinch, I swear.

SO! Second last week, and what a week it was. We saw the grade 11 ball happening this week which was the highlight of my week. At the ball the learners were assessed for their life orientation marks for line dancing and I could see they all enjoyed this every much. They got dressed to the nines and brought food and had a jolly good time, even though their grade 11 ball was at 10 – in the morning! They all looked so stunning! This week was one of those weeks where I really felt so absolutely out of place in that school. The kids were scheduled to write their test week so there were absolutely no classes, and all they did was sit in class and study, which I found to be very odd. Also, as students, we were unable to use these days for teaching and getting in lessons because the learners were busy studying and writing tests, which set many of us back in terms of completing the amount of lessons we had to complete. They gave the children more than two hours every day to study and called it exactly that – as if those children need any more reason not to study at home and come prepared! A lot of the children ended up just leaving their studying at home to come study at school but the classes ended up so noisy because of how difficult it is to control a class where they are not being taught and they have to “study”. Sometimes I feel like the people who run the school do not think and simply do it because it’s what’s easiest for them. Heaven knows these children don’t need another week of doing nothing in class. I feel like I’m sounding very jaded at the moment – like an old aunty – and to a very real extent I am jaded by my experience at the school.

Don’t get me wrong, I learnt a lot from being at the school, but 9 weeks is a long time. I feel like my time at the school is wearing thin and as though my space in class is getting smaller. As the days go on I feel like I’m getting more and more in the way of the teacher. They try to be very kind and nice to them but I understand that after a while you would like your own classroom back to it just being you. Where you can shout and “gaan te keere” without feeling like you are being judged! I feel like the more familiar the kids get with you, the nicer things get in class between you and a select few, but the harder things get with the kids who are disruptive – they don’t care. To them you are not their teacher and you are old news. So, on we trudged in the mud every day (the place is really a mud bath when it rains like it did this week), and tried to make the most of a week that held nothing much in store for us but to sit in out library classroom and talk about our plans for the weekend or the color we would like to dye our hair next. I am having a little bit of a problem with my life orientation lessons because of the fact that there are very few actual lessons happening for life orientation at this school, and in terms of observations this has been a nightmare. Teaching life orientation has also proven to be a little difficult because the children simply do not want to work, and neither do they take the subject seriously. I must say, though, that they grade 11s are AWESOME to teach life orientation to because of how interactive they are. They also possess a level of maturity that many of the other grades do not, and I really thrive off this because we end up having meaningful discussions, and I am very proud of them. Unfortunately, since the timetable does not allow it I will not be able to use them for my crit lesson tomorrow!

We were allowed to leave when the children left for home but I stayed many days because I had to help the girls with their dance routine for the culture evening that was
“planned” for Tuesday evening. Leaving school earlier was a huge shock to my system! All of a sudden I had no idea what to do with my time from 12-3 each afternoon where I would usually be in class helping with this or that. I was genuinely worried about how I will react to having a whole lot of time on my hands. I also anticipate long crocodile tears when I leave because even though I look at some children and I feel heat boiling in my temples and my ears burning from dislike, I know I will miss them all collectively and I know that I will think with fond memories about the few that really made my time there worth it. I know that previously in this post I sounded very begrudging, which was really just a result of feeling underappreciated and ill-treated by some, but now, thinking back on those who really make me smile with their kind words, letters and fixed eyes upon me I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow!

This week will be my last week at school and I hope it ends on a beautiful note. I can’t wait to see the girls perform the dance I taught them, and I hope that at the end of the week I check in with an update of the millions of chocolates I have received! Haha!